myselfhere's Blog

I Wont Give Up ...

It has been long time i didnt express my mind through EP. I think EP is good site to speak up your thought freely. I have been through rough times recently. I remembered one of my pride when i am become one of the youngest student who are passed bachelor degree on IT Business  with GPA 3.50 at the age 20 years old in October 11th 2012.  I missed my dad  a lot at that time. My heart beats so fast i cant handle tear on my cheek. I cant hold my sadness since my dad passed away. I just promises on my heart i will make him proud of me no matter how hard i should continue my life without him. He is my hero forever. I always remembered every single moment with him. Dad, i will show you my best. Because i will be the best in every part on my life i wont give up no matter how. I love you so much i never being what i am today without you. Dad, sometime life just up and down but i am maintain it very well. If God gives me one chance on my life. I want you come back here.. come back in our family. Dad i want to give thank to you because you make me stronger and more mature to face this life. One day i want to meet you in heaven and we will talk about everyhing again.

Missed you and Love you.
Your Daughter

i am grow up alone

i know must strong yeah to be strong girl but i am tired walking alone on my path.. I need someone to tell me do i am on right path? i know i must be happy but i am sad i need hugs from someone who will say everything will be fine because you are not alone through this. i want to be good like my promises to you dad but i am already tired with all things a head. i dont knw wheres place to go, i am sick with it,no body know how much my tears falling down. i am hide it. i am sad, i know it seems like kid, i am must be mature right?you said i should pray.yeah pray until down on my knees to healing myself without you..yeah without you dad. i missed so bad really bad

about love

i have been learning we cant force someone to like us, even we tried it so hard.. i know i like you but i got the answered you dont have same feeling like mine..sometime i hope i dont have any felling to anyone because when i know the truth they didnt like me i wont feel hurt..eerything so beautiful at the first but the last its relly hurt me..on my dream i hope i meet somoene who arent never leave me alone go through this loneliness time, he will saty there when i need him, he will always to me on my hard time..we will go together through this life..i know all pride, accomplishment, it seems just nothing if you feel havent someone special to cheer up and someone who can always be with u there..i feel desperate to find someone until pray down on my knee to prayer..i am sosad..the tears is fallin down on my cheek know i wont mwwt anyone, because i will ended up become single..people say God will send u the right one..sometimes i think ia it just a hope to make me not feeling sad?why fall in love really sad really sad ..sad i wish i can talk to u or at least we become friend but i know its impossible..i know i just seems like stupid..why god let us meet if its just like this..why so?people says i am  good girl, funny, kind, etc sometimes on my heart i want turn on to be bad..whats good point to be good?if it just meaningless..i am tired waiting without nothing when i know no one like me..all my friends have bfs and they feel so happy...i am desperate

before i am die

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Theres a lot of things you never imagine before...
Theres many moment you cant count in every single day..

Thinking about something around universe...
opposite never related

you still cant explained what is it?
Describe it..

walking faster than anyone..

making everything seems different with your logical,point of view,critical
finding your way in the middle of people

02:00 pm
sitting in front of my laptop in the library

just push ur self under your limit

i dont know why i feel a bit sad,down or high i thought want to writing something in my thought right now..i love my self but i treat it too hard but i do this to make my self more strong..i thought i will faces high risk on my education now..l will have exam on june 13 until last june then i take intensif class one month after exam so i dont take any holiday even we have holiday 2 months but i use it for join intensif class and apprentice, i also take full credit semester.some of my friends said are u really want to take these all?it must be crazy u will depressed very much..if u failed it must be have high risk.. i know my risk take this all even i feel a bit scared can i pass it well?or what will happen..theres a lot  of question on my head..all i know i choose to be died rather than stay in my comfort zone..i want to brainwashed my brain before i doing this all..the first time i said to my self is "dont think anything which is havent related with all u do,focused for ur study only, forget everything in ur life a moment,forget it..just do ur effort to become the best, leave everything." maybe i need brainwshed my brain before i do everything important on my life, because i want to reduce stressed out..i treat my self as machine and lost about feeling..its more help me..

1-5 of 5 Blogs   

Previous Posts
I Wont Give Up ..., posted April 1st, 2014
i am grow up alone, posted December 12th, 2012, 2 comments
about love, posted August 8th, 2012
before i am die, posted July 19th, 2012
Something, posted September 26th, 2011
just push ur self under your limit, posted June 7th, 2011, 1 comment

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