myselfhere's Blog

i know must strong yeah to be strong girl but i am tired walking alone on my path.. I need someone to tell me do i am on right path? i know i must be happy but i am sad i need hugs from someone who will say everything will be fine because you are not alone through this. i want to be good like my promises to you dad but i am already tired with all things a head. i dont knw wheres place to go, i am sick with it,no body know how much my tears falling down. i am hide it. i am sad, i know it seems like kid, i am must be mature right?you said i should pray.yeah pray until down on my knees to healing myself without you..yeah without you dad. i missed so bad really bad

i have been learning we cant force someone to like us, even we tried it so hard.. i know i like you but i got the answered you dont have same feeling like mine..sometime i hope i dont have any felling to anyone because when i know the truth they didnt like me i wont feel hurt..eerything so beautiful at the first but the last its relly hurt me..on my dream i hope i meet somoene who arent never leave me alone go through this loneliness time, he will saty there when i need him, he will always to me on my hard time..we will go together through this life..i know all pride, accomplishment, it seems just nothing if you feel alone..you havent someone special to cheer up and someone who can always be with u there..i feel desperate to find someone until pray down on my knee to prayer..i am sosad..the tears is fallin down on my cheek know i wont mwwt anyone, because i will ended up become single..people say God will send u the right one..sometimes i think ia it just a hope to make me not feeling sad?why fall in love really sad really sad ..sad i wish i can talk to u or at least we become friend but i know its impossible..i know i just seems like stupid..why god let us meet if its just like this..why so?people says i am  good girl, funny, kind, etc sometimes on my heart i want turn on to be bad..whats good point to be good?if it just meaningless..i am tired waiting without nothing when i know no one like me..all my friends have bfs and they feel so happy...i am desperate

SOMETHING...

Theres a lot of things you never imagine before...
Theres many moment you cant count in every single day..

Think..
Thinking about something around universe...
opposite never related

Explain
you still cant explained what is it?
Describe it..


Faster
walking faster than anyone..
running..


Different 
making everything seems different with your logical,point of view,critical
finding your way in the middle of people


Monday 
02:00 pm
sitting in front of my laptop in the library

i dont know why i feel a bit sad,down or high recently..so i thought want to writing something in my thought right now..i love my self but i treat it too hard but i do this to make my self more strong..i thought i will faces high risk on my education now..l will have exam on june 13 until last june then i take intensif class one month after exam so i dont take any holiday even we have holiday 2 months but i use it for join intensif class and apprentice, i also take full credit semester.some of my friends said are u really want to take these all?it must be crazy u will depressed very much..if u failed it must be have high risk.. i know my risk take this all even i feel a bit scared can i pass it well?or what will happen..theres a lot  of question on my head..all i know i choose to be died rather than stay in my comfort zone..i want to brainwashed my brain before i doing this all..the first time i said to my self is "dont think anything which is havent related with all u do,focused for ur study only, forget everything in ur life a moment,forget it..just do ur effort to become the best, leave everything." maybe i need brainwshed my brain before i do everything important on my life, because i want to reduce stressed out..i treat my self as machine and lost about feeling..its more help me..